Pay some law school a hundred thousand dollars for a lawyer's license

AS THEY SAY, 95% of all lawyers fuck up the reputation for the rest of them. Every year, law schools in America churn out thousands of wide-eyed young professionals that are eager to take your money. And you will give it to them! Quick, name somebody who has never sued anybody or has never been sued himself? Car accidents, wills, divorces, slips-and-falls, tainted meat in your hamburger - anything you do is, as they say, potentially "actionable". So, if you can't beat them - join them.

Getting a law degree is like buying a license to print money. It will cost you - about a hundred thousand dollars in student loans and three years of your life, but - trust me, it will be worth it. (Fortunately, those student loans are pretty easy to get - banks love to issue them to law students.) And, after graduating, you can take your pick of the following wonderful legal careers:

Become a DWI / DUI attorney