IN AMERICA, the naive values such as life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness have long been laughed out of the third-grade classrooms. Instead, they have been replaced with a much more fundamental value - money. Unlike pursuit of happiness, money is directly quantifiable - every Joe Schmoe can easily calculate whether you are a somebody or a nobody by a Lamborghini in your garage, Patek Philippe on your wrist or Gucci on the botoxed body of your trophy wife. It gets even better - you, yourself can gauge your own worth by a simple number in your bank account. How else are you going to measure it? By joining the Peace Corps? Pleeeease. And, even if you ever go soft like that - there is always philanthropy.

This little book will teach you the easiest ways to get rich in the olde goode U.S. of A. - and quick. Well, some methods in here may not be that quick, but they all work, guaranteed. There are no new or fancy get-rich-quick schemes in here - just old, tired and true ways of getting rich that most of our elected representatives once used to become "persons of substance". Follow the advice in this book and, in a few years - you can buy your own trophy wife or bribe your elected official for that very first time.

...And, we begin with a legal career: